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Fifty Shades Trilogy…well written or not?

22 Jan

I have heard many grumblings and rumblings surrounding the Fifty Shades Trilogy and the fact that they are badly written. So today, with the banning of the books in Brazil, I’ve decided to tackle the question full on…are these books well written or not?

Here I give you my little Fifty Shades journey…what was your journey like, should you have succumbed to the Fifty Shades phenomenon?

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Secret agent antics

I am one of those people that shamelessly needs to read any book if there is a hype – raunchy or not. Admittedly it took me a while to build up the courage to read them and this is where my journey starts. One fine day I sported my dark sunglasses and entered the ‘quite far from home’ book shop…all the time watching over my shoulder to make sure no secret agents were hot on my tail. Racing thoughts…people will think I’m kinky, I’m deprived, I’m weird and watch raunchy movies. By the way, just to set the record straight, I am none of these (just incase you were wondering). I approached the check out of the book shop mumbling, fumbling and blushing cheeks to match. Never have I charged out of a shop so quickly feeling like a criminal being watched for indescribable crimes. However, one and a half books down, here I am talking openly about it. I’ve clearly come to terms with myself since then!

Dreaming of what Christian Grey looks like…

Secretly I opened the first book and launched into the dark world of ‘Fifty Shades’. I was a bit taken by surprise that I was actually enjoying it…not too sure about the raunchy parts, but nonetheless I was completely engrossed in the story line. Quite aside, I would very much like to meet this Christian Grey character, and feast my eyes on what seems to be the most good looking man ever described! Mind wondering…oops, ok back to the point of this piece. In all seriousness, I was hooked – drawn into the intrigue of Christian Grey’s dark past and the charming, feisty and innocent Anastasia Steele. The combination fascinated me.

I breezed through the book and was still a little shocked that I’d enjoyed it…oh dear maybe I am kinky, deprived and weird? Quick mental assessment of myself…outcome of assessment…no, I am still none of those things…phew! As I had enjoyed the story line so much, I paid absolutely no attention to the finer points of writing style. At this point in the journey I wouldn’t be able to answer my question posed of whether they are well written or not.

Once the last word had been read, I was left completely frustrated. To put you in the picture, I NEED to know what happens next…until there is a final conclusion. Take one of my favourite TV shows for example…when it ends on a cliffhanger I am not a happy camper.  I was so intrigued and frustrated that I just had to read the next one.

Secret agent antics – Round 2

Secret agent antics for Fifty Shades continued. Play it again Sam…back to book store, shades on, bright red cheeks and lightning speed exit.

I darted home, opened the book (secretly of course!) and started frantically diving into Fifty Shades Darker. Initial thoughts…I just wanted to get it over and done and get to the point of knowing the outcome. I carried on frantically reading.

Time to answer the question…is this trilogy well written or not?

I don’t claim to be any literary super power, but my frantic reading of Fifty Shades Darker has come to a complete and utter halt. I have only read one and a half books, so I’m not really in a position to be answering the question, or am I? This is still my experience and I look forward to someone convincing  me otherwise or supporting my experience of the book/s.  The reason my frantic reading has come to a complete halt is the simple fact…I am bored stiff. The intrigue surrounding Christian Grey has completely been removed for me and to be honest, he has turned into a bit of a good boy – somehow a mystery man is a bit more intriguing. In my honest opinion the books I’ve read have left me a bit cold…they read a bit like a Mills and Boon story. So, in summary, I don’t think they are very well written. What do you think (if of course you are happy to admit that you’ve read them)? Have I got it wrong? Have I got it right? Or, do I need to give it a bit more of a chance?

Over to you lovely readers…

Picture credits: Random House UK

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25 rare and wonderful words…from The Horologicon

15 Jan

This post was inspired by an interview I heard on the Gareth Cliff show on 5FM. He interviewed Mark Forsyth about his new book ‘The Horologicon…A Day’s Jaunt Through The Lost Words of the English Language’.

The Horologicon...brilliant book

The Horologicon…brilliant book

The interview had me laughing and fascinated at the same time. Trust me…the words are unbelievable! I’ve highlighted my Top 25 words from this amazing book. Why not try them on for size…I might even start using them in everyday language…that would be interesting as I would never be able to remember them.

The really interesting thing about this book is that the words are organised according to the time of day that you would use them…what an awesome idea!

Why not try these on for size? If you’ve got some weird and wonderful words up your sleeve, I’d love to hear about them. All of these words and meaning are taken from his blog – go and have a look.

  1. Horologicon: means a book of hours.
  2. Uhtcearemeans anxiety experienced just before dawn.
  3. Aristologist: means you are a person who devotes your life to the study of breakfast.
  4. Hypnopompic: means half dreamful, half conscious delusions and illusions.
  5. Oneirocritical: of or pertaining to the interpretation of dreams.
  6. Expergefactor: means anything that wakes you up – your alarm clock, your children, the neighbour drilling at 6am (Just for the record I am not a fan of expergefactors!)
  7. Snollygosterone of my personal favourites this means a dishonest politician (well kind of…the technical definition is similar). The actual definition is a shrewd, unprincipled person.
  8. Aubademeans a song sung at dawn by your lover beneath your bedroom window.
  9. Reveillemeans the drum roll or bugle-blast meant to awaken a barracks of soldiers.
  10. Matutinalpeople who are breezy and bright in the morning.
  11. Zwoddera drowsy and stupid state of mind.
  12. Philogrobilizedthis should be used the morning after the night before and conveys a hangover, but you don’t admit to actually having been drinking (this might be my new favourite word).
  13. Xerostomiathe technical term for having dryness of mouth (obviously after philogrobilized!)
  14. Obdormitionthe term used for your arm falling asleep from lying on it.
  15. Lucifugousmeans light-fleeing creatures that avoid sunlight like vampires or badgers. It is normally referred to in the context of sins and demons…but feel free to use it when you really need those curtains to be closed in your zwodder state.
  16. Cunctationlike procrastination which is avoiding the inevitable.
  17. Grufelingto lie close, wrapped up, and in a comfortable looking manner; used in ridicule.
  18. Dysaniaextreme difficulty in waking up (this definitely describes me…)
  19. Clinomaniaan obsessive need to lie down.
  20. Oscitancyyawning or unusual sleepiness…(think about that mind numbingly boring conference).
  21. Pandiculationstretching of the arms or body when you’re is oscitancy.
  22. Egroteto pretend you’re sick in order to avoid work.
  23. Whindleonce your boss picks up the phone, start whindling. This is essentially when you are pretending to groan.
  24. Floccilatingmeans feverishly plucking at the bed clothes. You must of course tell your boss this.
  25. Jactatingmeans you are tossing around feverishly.

There are literally thousands of these words in his book – the only way to find them all is to purchase the book! I find it fascinating and it’s on my to buy list!

Give me your weird and wonderful words!

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